5 years since Elvira was evicted.
The 5 year mark is apparently a magical mystical mark in the cancer world. If you can get to the 5 year mark without any re-occurrence then you get to ... graduate.
The 5 year mark is all about survival rates. When I was first diagnosed almost 5 years ago I was on auto pilot. 5 years seemed so far away. I remember hearing "Wow, Pam - you're so young to be diagnosed with kidney cancer. This is not a young person's disease." But it all seemed to be in that Charlie Brown teacher voice - so over my head. The average age of a person diagnosed with kidney cancer is 64, and is very uncommon in people under 45. I was 36 at the time.
5 years is right around the corner - it's coming so quickly.
I graduate from my care with my urologist. All that means is that we won't monitor me so closely. I have mixed feels about this. On the one hand - I'm pretty anxious about that. Statistics say that for my stage of cancer that after 5 years the chances of it coming back are 20%. And the other thing to consider is that I have riddled my body with hella radiation at this point. And not just from monitoring the cancer. So at some point I need to dial that back a bit. But it makes me nervous to just stop monitoring.
Then I have to ask myself... well Elvira just showed up out of the blue when I was being diagnosed with pancreatitis. So what makes me think that if I have a re-occurrence I won't find it when some random nastiness pops up.
So ... Proverbs 31;25 ...
She is clothes in strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future
I am seriously considering this as my next tattoo - maybe where Elvira was evicted from ... see picture above.
Just know that I'm struggling with finding peace with my 5 year anniversary. I need to find a way to celebrate June 15.
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